No sex,please,we're Liberal Democrats

You'd think that Liberal Democrats would be grateful for anything to brighten up their their conference next month ("And now colleagues, Chris Huhne on border-control policy"). But senior members of the party fear that proceedings might be dominated by the sex lives of two MPs.

Mark Oaten is to publish a book on the eve of conference in which he will explain in eye-watering detail how he went bald, had a mid life crisis and hired a rent boy (although not,I must make very clear, on expenses).

Meanwhile, the nation is agog to learn the truth about Lembit Opik, the member for Hello! magazine, and Katie green, the generously proportioned and much younger bra model. Are they actually an item, or are they just teasing us all?

" We could do without all this," sighed a senior party figure. "It's all going to be a bit cringe-making. We just wish they'd stop going on about it."

Thanks to Atticus(Roland White) Sunday Times.

The Liberal Democrats are cringe making and we all wish they'd stop going on!!